When You're Feeling All Alone

Hi Jammers!

Okay so, I think that at some point in everyone's life, (or everyday or many times) you feel so alone, like no one cares about you, you're unwanted, everyone hates you, you're too different for everyone. Right? Okay, I know those sound like pretty basic things that everyone talks about, but it can be hurtful on two different levels. Level one, where it just affects you for a brief moment or a little longer, (a few hours, all day?) by something small-ish such as a kinda rude remark your friend said. Level two, where you feel down for quite awhile (a week or more?) and you're whole mood and perspective of life adjusts.

Well, I've developed a few ideas that can help you through it. I've felt this way MANY times before on AJ, when people call me a rare-hogger, rare-obsessed, and all these other mean names. Or, other times when groups of 30 people or more have stomped into my den, telling me to quit and that I shouldn't exist. Whatever the situation, I felt worthless, even though I was just trying my best.

Okay, on with the ideas!

1) Think of everyone in your life ^~^

When I'm pondering life, I usually think about the people who have influenced me. If you feel like nobody cares about you, think of EVERYONE in your life who seems to be reaching out to you, wants to be your friend, or seems to care about you (even in the slightest way). Maybe they're not your closest friend, but they sure have a chance of being, right? They don't have to be the most popular in-crowd person in your school (even if you may be) to be your friend. Or, maybe people that you've had small friendships with in the past, that have kinda faded away. Maybe they want you back? Think of EVERYONE. Your church group, the old neighbor lady next door (fun fact: my neighbor reached out to me and  taught me how to knit, and now I give my friends scarfs for Christmas presents!), that one nerdy guy in your skiing class, there are TONS of people in your life and you don't even realize it, its not just the group you hang in in school. 

2) I know it sounds cheesy, but have a pump up song! :D

EXCUSE MY CHEESINESS. Pump-up songs are NOT just for exercising, lol. What I mean by a pump-up song, is one that will you make you happy NO MATTER what. And I seriously mean no matter what. I've searched for this kind of song for a long, long time (4 months or so?). No, it doesn't have to be Katy Perry's "Teenage Dream" to get you going, it could be a never-heard-of artist that has a cool, slow, electro song that makes you happy. I don't know about you, but music changes my mood drastically. I don't recommend it having emotional lyrics, because that just might get your mind thinking more and more. D:

3) Don't suck it up, let it all out! (But not for too long ...)

Okay, I know A LOT of people say sometimes "dude, you just needa let it out and chyyyyllll" But yes, you do. You can't just keep it sucked up inside you all day. So go, go, go and scream and shout and kick and sob into your pillow. I know my pillow has some mascara and tear stains from previous nights. And that's okay. It is natural for us to get sad. But, don't do this EVERY NIGHT for the next months, no, cause then it just gets worse and goes far beyond just crying and screaming. Make a plan to be happy the next morning, so your anger doesn't affect others... and that leads me into my next idea.

4) Don't you dare take it out on others

I tend to do this A LOT. Especially with my parents. Don't take your anger and sadness out on other people. They didn't have anything to do with the reason you're upset. (Well, most of the time, but if they did, screaming and shouting at them isn't gonna help anymore.) Just be positive around them, but don't act too fake. And if they're really gettin' on your nerves, just tell to back off in a sweet way, such as, "Hey, I'm sorry I'm not having too good of day, and I'm not quite in the mood to chat. Can we talk later? thxluvyabye" And of course, they will ask, "Oh darlin' what's the matter?" Just say something like, "I'll tell ya later" "It's personal" or "I don't feel like talking about it, sorry".

5) Don't commit to any decisions!

When you're sad, you can easily convince yourself that (some idea) is the smartest option ever and will make everything better. Maybe it really is, but who knows. Anything can seem like a good option when you're down. I remember when I was super sad one time, I fully committed to a decision and actually attempted to do it, and it almost f*cked everything up, (excuse my language), it still affects me a little bit, but I'm so glad I didn't do it. One of my favorite quotes is, "Before you commit to a decision, write a letter to your future self explaining why you're doing it." Writing not your thing? Find a trusted person, and explain your reasoning to them. Not comfortable doing it? Pretend you're talking to someone, and verbally SAY IT OUT LOUD what you're situation is and why you're doing it. Trust me, it really helps. Leads me into my next topic... 

6) Talk it over. 

I know, I know, I sound so cliche saying this. But it actually does help. You really can't hold it all inside you, it will just get more tangled up. Actually talking to someone, and getting their opinion on it REALLY HELPS. It puts your situation in much better perspective, and you get someone elses ideas on it, which you may have NEVER EVER EVER IN A BILLION YEARS thought of, and it just might untangle everything and solve your lil' puzzle. Ok so, maybe you aren't the closest to your parents or that's too "awkward", or maybe your bff is such a gossiper and you can't trust her, or you feel there's no one you can trust... go to a stranger! Such as a fun teacher, a school counselor, or your neighbor. You may not know them that well, but you know they care enough to want to help you. They have NO background information on your situation, which is perfect for a real opinion and real advice. If you're thinking eh, goldy, i don't feel too comfortable doing that... That's okay, just breathe, I'm not forcing you to do anything, but, why not? 

 7) Put a positive spin on life! ^.^

Yep, I sound mainstream again. But it's true. One day I was so sad, laying in bed all day sobbing, when all of a sudden it came it to me - be happy, look on the brightside. Look at something you hate, and think about all the good things about it. But goldy, there is no good things about it. Wrong. Let's take a little example... Christmas lights. One could say, "ew there so ugly and colorful and make their house look so tacky bleeehh" But another could look on the good side and say, "Hey, that's really nice that they put all that effort into hanging up Christmas lights to celebrate this season and possibly make other people happy. They're so bright, cheery, and only come once a year. Why not celebrate them?" See what I mean? Okay, in the event of you hating another human being, just think. They were put on this earth FOR A PURPOSE, FOR A REASON, and to make others happy, including that special someone. Just think about that, ok? 

Eh, that's all for now. I had a few more, but they're even more cliche and I'll just make a separate post about them. I hope this helps, this kinda got carried away from the "feeling all alone" topic, but I guess it's still postable. See y'all later.

~breathless/goldie