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Tuesday, January 8, 2013

When You're Feeling All Alone

Hi Jammers!

Okay so, I think that at some point in everyone's life, (or everyday or many times) you feel so alone, like no one cares about you, you're unwanted, everyone hates you, you're too different for everyone. Right? Okay, I know those sound like pretty basic things that everyone talks about, but it can be hurtful on two different levels. Level one, where it just affects you for a brief moment or a little longer, (a few hours, all day?) by something small-ish such as a kinda rude remark your friend said. Level two, where you feel down for quite awhile (a week or more?) and you're whole mood and perspective of life adjusts. TRANSPARENT
not my art but my edit :)

Well, I've developed a few ideas that can help you through it. I've felt this way MANY times before on AJ, when people call me a rare-hogger, rare-obsessed, and all these other mean names. Or, other times when groups of 30 people or more have stomped into my den, telling me to quit and that I shouldn't exist. Whatever the situation, I felt worthless, even though I was just trying my best.

Okay, on with the ideas!

1) Think of everyone in your life ^~^

When I'm pondering life, I usually think about the people who have influenced me. If you feel like nobody cares about you, think of EVERYONE in your life who seems to be reaching out to you, wants to be your friend, or seems to care about you (even in the slightest way). Maybe they're not your closest friend, but they sure have a chance of being, right? They don't have to be the most popular in-crowd person in your school (even if you may be) to be your friend. Or, maybe people that you've had small friendships with in the past, that have kinda faded away. Maybe they want you back? Think of EVERYONE. Your church group, the old neighbor lady next door (fun fact: my neighbor reached out to me and  taught me how to knit, and now I give my friends scarfs for Christmas presents!), that one nerdy guy in your skiing class, there are TONS of people in your life and you don't even realize it, its not just the group you hang in in school. 

2) I know it sounds cheesy, but have a pump up song! :D

EXCUSE MY CHEESINESS. Pump-up songs are NOT just for exercising, lol. What I mean by a pump-up song, is one that will you make you happy NO MATTER what. And I seriously mean no matter what. I've searched for this kind of song for a long, long time (4 months or so?). No, it doesn't have to be Katy Perry's "Teenage Dream" to get you going, it could be a never-heard-of artist that has a cool, slow, electro song that makes you happy. I don't know about you, but music changes my mood drastically. I don't recommend it having emotional lyrics, because that just might get your mind thinking more and more. D:

3) Don't suck it up, let it all out! (But not for too long ...)

Okay, I know A LOT of people say sometimes "dude, you just needa let it out and chyyyyllll" But yes, you do. You can't just keep it sucked up inside you all day. So go, go, go and scream and shout and kick and sob into your pillow. I know my pillow has some mascara and tear stains from previous nights. And that's okay. It is natural for us to get sad. But, don't do this EVERY NIGHT for the next months, no, cause then it just gets worse and goes far beyond just crying and screaming. Make a plan to be happy the next morning, so your anger doesn't affect others... and that leads me into my next idea.

4) Don't you dare take it out on others

I tend to do this A LOT. Especially with my parents. Don't take your anger and sadness out on other people. They didn't have anything to do with the reason you're upset. (Well, most of the time, but if they did, screaming and shouting at them isn't gonna help anymore.) Just be positive around them, but don't act too fake. And if they're really gettin' on your nerves, just tell to back off in a sweet way, such as, "Hey, I'm sorry I'm not having too good of day, and I'm not quite in the mood to chat. Can we talk later? thxluvyabye" And of course, they will ask, "Oh darlin' what's the matter?" Just say something like, "I'll tell ya later" "It's personal" or "I don't feel like talking about it, sorry".

5) Don't commit to any decisions!

When you're sad, you can easily convince yourself that (some idea) is the smartest option ever and will make everything better. Maybe it really is, but who knows. Anything can seem like a good option when you're down. I remember when I was super sad one time, I fully committed to a decision and actually attempted to do it, and it almost f*cked everything up, (excuse my language), it still affects me a little bit, but I'm so glad I didn't do it. One of my favorite quotes is, "Before you commit to a decision, write a letter to your future self explaining why you're doing it." Writing not your thing? Find a trusted person, and explain your reasoning to them. Not comfortable doing it? Pretend you're talking to someone, and verbally SAY IT OUT LOUD what you're situation is and why you're doing it. Trust me, it really helps. Leads me into my next topic... 

6) Talk it over. 

I know, I know, I sound so cliche saying this. But it actually does help. You really can't hold it all inside you, it will just get more tangled up. Actually talking to someone, and getting their opinion on it REALLY HELPS. It puts your situation in much better perspective, and you get someone elses ideas on it, which you may have NEVER EVER EVER IN A BILLION YEARS thought of, and it just might untangle everything and solve your lil' puzzle. Ok so, maybe you aren't the closest to your parents or that's too "awkward", or maybe your bff is such a gossiper and you can't trust her, or you feel there's no one you can trust... go to a stranger! Such as a fun teacher, a school counselor, or your neighbor. You may not know them that well, but you know they care enough to want to help you. They have NO background information on your situation, which is perfect for a real opinion and real advice. If you're thinking eh, goldy, i don't feel too comfortable doing that... That's okay, just breathe, I'm not forcing you to do anything, but, why not? 

 7) Put a positive spin on life! ^.^

Yep, I sound mainstream again. But it's true. One day I was so sad, laying in bed all day sobbing, when all of a sudden it came it to me - be happy, look on the brightside. Look at something you hate, and think about all the good things about it. But goldy, there is no good things about it. Wrong. Let's take a little example... Christmas lights. One could say, "ew there so ugly and colorful and make their house look so tacky bleeehh" But another could look on the good side and say, "Hey, that's really nice that they put all that effort into hanging up Christmas lights to celebrate this season and possibly make other people happy. They're so bright, cheery, and only come once a year. Why not celebrate them?" See what I mean? Okay, in the event of you hating another human being, just think. They were put on this earth FOR A PURPOSE, FOR A REASON, and to make others happy, including that special someone. Just think about that, ok? 


Eh, that's all for now. I had a few more, but they're even more cliche and I'll just make a separate post about them. I hope this helps, this kinda got carried away from the "feeling all alone" topic, but I guess it's still postable. See y'all later.

~breathless/goldie

37 comments:

  1. First vomment! :D lol Anywho, thanks goldy these really will help a lot! I love your blog btw!
    ---Josh52214

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  3. ☼pielover4ever☼January 9, 2013 at 5:50 AM

    Thanks Goldy, I think this will really help! Usually at night i feel like i'm alone, no one likes me, etc. It kinda started happening in December because my emotions just started kicking in. And by that i mean, you know how girls can be emotional a lot? Its just starting to happen to me now. At night, it's really the only time for me to be emotional because i have school during the day, and i really only have school stuff on my mind. And when i get home from school i have homework, and then i usually get on AJ. So i'm busy there too. But then, sometimes, (not all the time) but sometimes at night i feel like i'm crap and stuff. And then usually after that i fall asleep XP

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  4. I feel like that sometimes. It's usually about twice a month like 2 weeks apart. Sometimes my friends can be total dramatic freaks. One of them is a gossiped so I can't tell her any secrets. Sorry, kinda got off topic. You know what breathless, I dont get why people call you mean! You're actually really nice. Ok I'm getting off topic again.

    ~Crazee4horses

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    1. I gossip. Okay, I don't gossip exactly, but I listen to the gossip. I admit it, I love to hear it, unless its about me. Sadly, girls gossip more than guys, but that's not an insult. Guys are consumed in sports and their crushes that they attempt to smooch one day.....Off topic, but I do sit next to a guy who is just dying to smooch me, I'm serious.

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    2. At least he wants to spend time with you.....

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    3. I'm also too. At least 15 people want to smooch me. I'm even older then them 0.0

      --Sorry off topic

      -- XxMoonlightLightsxX

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  5. I really like your newer posts ^^ They have real MEANING to them, and it makes me smile :3

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  6. some songs that help me feel better:

    1. all You will never know- Avril Lavigne

    2. iCarly theme song- Miranda Cosgrove (lol)

    3. He wasent- Avril Lavigne

    4. Freak Out- Avril Lavigne

    5. Warrior- Ke$ha

    hope this helps for anyone needing to feel better ^-^
    -Avie

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  7. Extraordinary tips! I'm actually feeling down now, but putting a positive apin on life and such haa really helped me!

    Thanks so much!

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  8. Have you ever heard of vocaloid? Its a program that lets you create songs. Many vocaloids to chose from. They're Jappanesse vocaloids like Hatsune Miku, Rin and Len Kagamine, KAITO, MEIKO, Megurine Luka, and lots more... English vocaloids like Sweet Ann, Oliver, Avanna, Big Al, and others. Spanish like Bruno and Clara. Even Korean like SeeU! Many songs are based on bullying, love, war, and just everyday life topics! Plus the singers are actually computers! Goldy, I think you would enjoy these songs. I do! Im just trying to help you here. Cause you will probably relate to one of these songs! Good ones that probably relate to you would be Abstract Nonsense, Worlds End Dancehall, My True Self, and maybe others! Try it at least ;)

    ~MariolovesLPS

    P.S Don't be surprised if you start having a crush on Len. It's natural.....

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    1. Thanks! Im not alone! HORRAY FOR VOCALOID! can't wait till' KAITOS Append comes out!

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  9. Pump up songs for me are anything 1D :3

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    1. My fav songs, even tho they're not exactly about bullying and such, but you'll be screaming out the lyrics like you won a million bucks. I'm not kidding.
      1. Die Young Ke$ha. (Come on, guys, maybe she has a nose ring, but she really puts her heart into this song when she sings it out).
      2. Disturbia (This is what you feel like when someone's bullying you, but Disturbia is saying there's like a 'disease inside of you' and that's what bullying is like!)
      3. Taylor Swift Mean (guys, this is actually about bullying, and you can sing your heart out and like Swift said, 'they're mean and pathetic' and singing this song can confirm it).
      4. Evacuate the Dance Floor (it's catchy, you've got to admit it).
      These are the songs that I listen to, like almost every day, as well as screaming the lyrics out until my neighbors angrily knock at the door demanding to know what that terrible noise is coming from.

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    2. I love Taylor Swift Mean too!
      I love all songs of TS.

      And Payphone Maroon 5 is one of my pump-up songs.

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  10. Actually just like an hour ago I was really sad and I felt like I had no friends and now after reading this, I will know what to do next time that happeneds :D
    Lexie1234

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  11. That was really good advice Goldy! I wish you'd buddy me on AJ though, I really need someone to make me feel happy, sorry, off topic. I usually feel like I'm crap at school, why? Because I am crap (I think they are getting to me right now), though recently I joined group of friends at school who I think appreciate me, not sure though. Anyways, there is this one girl in my class who can really make me feel like s*** (sorry for my language) and now I think I can stand up for my rights, before though, I was this bookworm loser with no friends, when people were being mean to me I would just suck it up and keep on reading, but as soon as I came back home I would cry in the shower, cry into my pillow every night but now that I have friends I think I can deal with, knowing that someone reached out to me and took me under their wing. But do you what bugs the f*** (sorry for the language) out of me? That the girls who makes me feel like s*** (sorry again) is 2 months younger than me!

    ~coolgirl911/Rooni Ruby

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    1. I'm not really on AJ that much, and when I am, I don't talk much. It would be better to email me at animaljamgoldfish@aol.com and we can talk.

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    2. I feel the exact way as you, Rooni. When I was younger, I had two friends which actually were gunk that you're dying to get off the bottom of your shoe. One of my friends, T, (her name starts with T), and she was stealing away M. (Her names starts with M), and they were always taunting me and trying to get away from me. One day, T said, "if you scream one more time, you can't play with us!" I never even screamed once, it was actually some other kid screaming. The loser kid screamed again, and now my friendship ended with T. I invited her over for a sleepover, and told her to arrive at 5. 5 people! And she arrived at, what, nine o'clock? My dad got a teensy bit angry, so he sent T home. Then, a year later, T ditched M like a potato sack by the side of the road. It was asta lavista T for M, and now M is one of my best friends. She knew T had been a jerk, but there are some girls that you view as a sticky chewed up piece of gum you're tugging off your sneakers. Guys, if you're the third wheel, you ditch those friends like there's no tomorrow. You'll move on, and if they were ever your friend, they'd come running back to you like you were their college degree, and that's what M did to me.

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    3. Whoa, that makes me look like I am living in sunshine and rainbows land...
      Anyways,
      Thanks Goldy! I never really had a close online friend. But judging by your blog you seem like a really nice person!

      ~coolgirl911/Rooni Ruby

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  12. Whoa this is just depressing :/

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  13. I feel like some of the people above... My friends are pretty dramatic and they don't talk to me all that much and stuff. They're the "popular" girls of my grade. When they talk to you, they're really nice and stuff. I go to their b-day parties and they come to mine but it's just that they all have another friend they talk with more. They don't know that much about me though...
    -One of your buddies who don't wanna say their name

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    1. I have this friend, she's super nice and all, but she has a super rough little brother, and her brother has influenced her, so now she's really rough and she KICKS, man. She kicks like there's no tomorrow. Also, I have another friend (imma call her Han short for Hannah, and she's friend with this girl named Ally, a nickname). Well, anyways, Han is always hanging out with Ally and when I walk home with Han, she walks home with Ally too. Ally is that popular girl that gets on your nerves, even though she's never been mean to you, but when I actually met her, she wasn't too bad. I mean, in third grade when she won a contest I was dying to win, I wanted to crush that perfect girl into shattered glass. Literally. But now that I think about it, I just got to enjoy my life. Sometimes, when I walk home, I just enjoy what I'm seeing. Like, if you're complaining about some stupid hat that your mom bought you, you wear it, woman. You better wear it, because 1. this is life! You're gonna have to deal with it. I don't get why people are so consumed in their looks, and guys! Please. I like guys, (whoa, that sounded creepy), but I dont spend my time on them. I like the world more than actually interacting with people. I enjoy my life, and I enjoy the things I have, cause some people are starving to death out there, and dying of cancer. Others have been shot by a fat, loser, dumb, stupid, idiotic, loser named Adam Lanza, but we got to live our lives and appreciate things. What if you were complaining about your oatmeal one day, and the next day you're dead? This is life, guys. I pity/despise those who whine and complain about worthless things, like your clothes. I mean, come on, people. Some out there are freezing or dying of cancer. They'd be happy to wear some ugly knitted sweater your grandma gave you.

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    2. You are correct, XxDramaxX. You should be content with your life rather than complain in what you have. Why EVERYONE should? It's because, you have your life. What's better, life or death?
      Anyway, that's what you said :P well, yeah. Life is life.
      ~biamorawesome
      P.S., I always ask this question to everyone: "How's life?"

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  14. hey goldy, mind if i copy and paste these tips on a word document?

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  15. Did you hear that just like some monkey species around the planet, the number of monkeys around Jamaa are dwindling? That means that on April 12th, monkeys will become endangered in Jamaa and Jammers will no longer be able to make new monkeys! You will still be able to play as any monkeys that you have, but you only have a week to become a monkey before they become endangered!

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    1. And right now in 2014, pandas are sadly endangered! I love pandas, they're cool and cute (to me) and wild, too.
      ~biamorawesome

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  16. I am feeling like that right now. I just feel like no one cares about me, that everyone is against me. I am just sad and I have been crying all day and all the last week I have been deperessed and feeling like crying about everything. None of the things I try to do to feel better work. Any advise?

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  17. I'm just going to feel better by " EXSCUSE MY CHESINESS" XD
    I feel alone a lot.
    Good songs
    To the sky -owl city
    Anyway I went thro depression. Serious depression. Cried cried cried. But I got over it, and you guys will too. Sometimes I feel sad and mad, but you have to find something that cools you down. Seriously, sometimes homework cools me down o.o Aloe, books and sometimes I listen to music and play temple run :) Hope this helps.
    - lolttylomg

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    1. Reading, homework, listening to music, yes! That helps me, too!
      ~biamorawesome

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  18. Im a girl with (what I think) is depression and I know a few more ways to help ;)you can go outside sit under tree and read a book also think about the people who love you and how they protect you (like she said) do something you like or for pump up songs I like hurricane by Brigit mendler (I know its a bit deep but it depends on you) fearless by Olivia holt blah blah ect. I hoped the helped! :)

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  19. from now on only adress me as poop face if you dont i will never talk to you again and if i say why did you say that? im just playing

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  20. your friend coolgirl

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  21. and always swear to me if you dont i will never talk to you ever again and again if i say why did you say that im just kidding again so please do what i told you to if you do i will think your a real friend

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  22. Goldy, you've been a HUGE inspiration to me. You think all positive and you do your best to throw all the negativity inside of you away. Thank you, VERY much. I just wanted to tell you something, "if Jammers/people keep doing some BAD things to you, remember what you taught us all."
    Goldy, without you I couldn't think anymore. I can't thank you enough! You have a unique style in writing and blogging. Besides Animal Jam, you tell us things about life. I know you've experienced much, but never lose faith, nor hope (though hope is frail).
    I know I posted this TOO late because you already quit the blog, but I hope your other great authors could read this for you and stuff. But anyway, I feel like I just want to dance XD!
    You're the best, Goldy! If Jammers/people keep teasing you, bullying/cyber bully you, don't listen to 'em. Thank you! I keep saying thank you, XD! Seriously though, THANK YOU!
    ~biamorawesome
    P.S., how are you right now?

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