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Sunday, January 6, 2013

Toxic Relationships

Hey Everyone!
Yeah, wow, long time no see, amirite? Anyways, I'm back, well not really, I'll just post ever so often, so sorry about everything. Thanks to EVERYONE for applying for jobs, but for now I've only chosen Feelers to post, even though she might not post again, or very often. I'm sorry, their was a lot of great potential in all your applications, but just not what I'm looking for. Maybe you could make your own blog like JWT!

Anyways, I'm here to talk about something on a more serious, not-so-AJ-related post. I hope you don't mind. (I haven't been playing AJ as often, but I think I'll make a few rarity scans soon? Comment with suggestions please, I'll do the best I can!)

Okay, so, "Toxic Relationships" I think we've all heard this term at some point, but never really knew the ACTUAL definition. So, I'm here to clear that up. I think I've had a few on AJ, but they weren't severe like a few I've had in "real life". 

A toxic relationship is with your friend, your spouse, boyfriend/girlfriend, parent, or anyone you know, hang around, talk to, and interact with quite often. What makes it "toxic" is that it's bad for you. The most common way is the other person in the relationship is making you feel bad about yourself, making you feel worthless, telling you mean things, and just making you feel like a piece of SH*T. (Excuse my language, but you need to get the point.) 


The majority of my toxic relationships were with friends. For example, they would make fun of me CONSTANTLY. Yes, I know, friends usually pick on each other in a fun, playful way. But, in a toxic relationship, it starts out in a playful way, and sometimes happens. Then, it proceeds to grow to a lot, and sometimes not even in a playful way. But, being picked on isn't the only way it starts. Sometimes it just begins as total harassment.  For example, in 'friendships' it can be the person making fun of how you look, what you do, how you do it, and so on. In actual relationships, the other person says things like "you're nothing without me" "you're worthless" "no one else besides me is gonna love you", etc. On AJ, this can happen very easily because people are more aggressive online and say things that they most likely wouldn't say in 'real life'.

Most people in toxic relationships don't know there in one until someone asks them about it, or they learn about a toxic relationship. Like me. My 'friend' was constantly sort-of bullying me, and every time she did, I would feel bad about myself, but I just thought I was too sensitive about it. Man, was I WRONG. Eventually, someone else came up to me and confronted me about it. I didn't know this person very well, they were kinda a half-friend (if you know what I mean) and asked me why I keep letting my 'friend' do this to me. I didn't really have an answer. All I said was, "cause they're my best friend" and the person said, "really? that's what a best friend is?" I thought about it for a long, long time. I eventually decided that I didn't want to be friends with this person anymore. They made me super insecure, feel like no one else likes me, and cause me to do some bad things. That's not a friend! I ended up slowly fading away from them, hanging out with them less and less, and I started reaching out to other people.

 

And my life is WAY better now! Trust me, if you're in a toxic relationship, GET OUT. It may feel like no one else is there for you, but that's only temporary. (I'm here for you, too. If you need to talk email animaljamgoldfish@aol.com) You'll realize all these other people who care about you, all these other AWESOME people who care about you and want to be your friend (or something more than friends ;D) and you'll life will be great. 

Kinda got off topic, but I just think more people should know this. Maybe you're in a toxic relationship and didn't even know it? Hopefully this helped you!

Thanks,
~ Breathless.


29 comments:

  1. ☼pielover4ever☼January 6, 2013 at 7:57 PM

    Yeah, I just got out of a 'toxic relationship' with 2 people who aren't friends with me anymore. They kept picking on my other friend, and i felt really bad for her. So, me, the one who was picked on, and my other friend split away from them.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Thanks for this amazing, supportive post! We learned about bad relationships in health class last year. I'm glad you're spreading the word!

    And I will be posting more, but they mightt be off-topic like yours, a lesson (not Lessons of Jamaa) for people in life. If you don't want me posting off-topic subjects, just notify me! :)

    I was in a "more than friends" relationship last year. It wasn't toxic, but I learned it made me happier to be apart. :D

    Jam On!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. @Feelers

      I know this is off-topic to the post, but I felt I should say it. Could you make more versions with the Rugrats in it? Or no? I absolutely love that show! As soon as I read I was all happy! :D
      If you don't want to, you don't have to, I just learn better that way, and it's Rugrats. I'd be interested to hear what you get out of that show. It'd be really exciting, that is, if other Jammers wouldn't mind. If they would, then maybe you could reply back with an answer to this comment, or not. I just felt I should tell you I admired how you mentioned the Rugrats. c:

      ~Goofy8966

      Delete
    2. Sure I will! It does usually help Jammers to understand more when they're given an example. Then they can put themselves in the anecdote to see what it really feels like! :)

      Delete
  3. OMG. U get pissed at magicdream for making her blog like yours now your suggesting everyone should go make a blog like yours? Wow.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ummmm Mango? Is that you? :o

      Delete
    2. By her saying, "You could make a blog like JWT, she means you can make a blog, LIKE how she made a blog. Not copy hers.....

      Delete
    3. I suggested that they could make posts like mine, telling the truth, being honest, etc. Not copy/plagiarize directly.

      Delete
    4. Hm I guess I'll try making a lesson blog and have lots of Jammers on it.. Now I have an idea o.0 Aw dang it, school tomorrow >.<

      Delete
  4. This.. Is TOTALLY true. I agree, my 'friend' actually wanted me 'cause I'm friendly, I'll give her stuff like I do to most people. I had noticed that my friends are also getting 'bullied' (she forces people to do what she wants.) We made a club about telling our bad times with her but I noticed it was to far. So I decided to quit the club and they asked for what reason. I told them "Why can't we just separate from her slowly so she won't notice we don't hang out to much?" And they agreed. I also have a Boy Best Friend, he keeps getting teased on like words like 'Weekling!' 'Porky' 'Gay' O.k., he gets teased by these words because well, other's think that he's gay because he hangs out with girls. But then I thought about it. Why is he Gay when he just spends time with girls like me? How about them, they spend time with girls too! I hang out with boys and some people call me a lesbian. But I don't care. Because if they call me whatever is bad, like bad words, like the F, B, S, the two G's or a lesbian/tomboy, who cares. They don't know that THEY'RE the real ones. Not me. Because they don't understand the Golden Rule.

    -XxMoonlightLightsxX

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh. And by the way, I don't hang out with those who tease me, or anyone of my TRUE Best Friends. And sorry if this is off topic.

      -XxMoonlightLightsxX

      Delete
  5. I think I sorta have a friend like that but were not really close... She usually gets mad at my friends, and if I were to make a movie while she was on and not tell her to come, trouble for me. Friends are people you would die for, everyone else is just an accquaintance.

    ReplyDelete
  6. I guess I'm in a toxic relationship. My friends tease me cause this guy likes me -3- and cause I'm a blonde. But they can be really nice. So yeah :p

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm a brunette. I like being a brunette. :D

      Delete
    2. Well, unless they do it CONSTANTLY and you get offended by it, then it's a toxic relationship.

      Delete
    3. Yeah every day 5th period gym. Yup, sometimes offended

      Delete
  7. I used to be in one, or a few. I started to avoid them, and for a while I didn't talk to anyone much. I didn't want to have friends if I knew that they could hurt me. I didn't want to be hurt. I never liked people telling me I was a bad judge of charector, even though I was, because it only made me feel worse. I did find friends, and I guess I'm happy. My best friend was bullied at her old school, and occasionly here. I'm always picked on considering my lack of muscle. Sometimes people point out that I'm not "trying" hard enough in gym, but it's not that. I'm just to weak. I did try, and I hate that I have to showcase my failure. Trying is just a means to an end. If you don't succeed, you can try again, but it's wrong to be proud of meaningless effort if it doesn't get you anywhere. I realized I didn't like athetisism, and I gave it up. I'm sorry I kind of went on my own little topic there, I apoligize. I really do wish you the best of luck at finding more authors. I'd assume being an author on this blog isn't going to happen in my case, but never the less, I really do wish you the best.

    ReplyDelete
  8. I don't think this counts as a toxic relationship, but its pretty much a problem for me on AJ. Its also why I remake and move accounts A LOT to avoid this. (I have an estimate of over 20 accounts.) It starts with a person (usually a member) seeing my trade list. I put my trade list up in Aldan and usually forget to take it off in other servers. Before you know it, that person starts following me around like a dog whose nose is fresh with the scent of meat, begging for free unwanted items and to be my friend. (The new turn off buddy requests option helped A LOT)But its not only strangers, I've noticed it with my buddies, even some who have been my friend for really long, following me, calling me their BFF, almost in a too sugary sweet way. I don't want to offend them or unbuddy them, because they're perfectly fine when we switch topic, but it pushes me into the wrong mood zone whenever they start begging again. (I've had to get a spike for one friend for free, and have had numerous requests from others, like a top hat, a claw machine, and yellow sweets.)

    ReplyDelete
  9. I know This Is totally Off topic and sounds Like im a whiner, But I wanna let this out. Ok so It Started Back In like October 2012. i met someone Called Emmdog20 He was nice to me was cool Untill I found out that His True Colours was RARES! I was in a toxic Relatshonship. He was doing ''scamming/betting'' I kept Saying Emm! Hello! U there? hoya? And He was ignoring Me just cuz I had less Rares And He had like 200 Rares. and, One day we made up n i was at his fathers den laet. I said to emmdog, This is ur dad? Oh Uhh Hi emmdog20's dad? And this is what he said, *does backleg kick throwing to wall And Sinking Teeth into throat* And said I wanna watch her suffer in her own pool of blood! I was offended and deleted him, I tried to apologize he rejected it. And from then on Were friends cause we made up but where Not as close as before, Later I admit I liked him To his girl, And she told him I got sad he deleted me And Later we made up and now were friends the end And i lived Awkwardly ever after. c=

    ReplyDelete
  10. Hi umm i think i have a toxic relationship. So theres this cool guy in my class that that i hang out with and there are two other boys i hang out with. So one of them is really nice but the other one kinda bullies me but only in front of the cool kid. When its just us hes pretty nice. Anyone have any advice to stop this?

    ---ineedhelp

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I know the answer to this. Please hear me out.

      When a person does this, it means that they're trying to act "cool" by being mean to you just to make themselves look better. When it's just you and him, ask him why he's doing this. Tell him what you feel; that it's not right to be mean to you around the cool guy and nice when he isn't around! It's terrible if he's being two different people at once!

      Any more questions, email me at animaljamguides@gmail.com

      Delete
    2. Thanks!

      ---idontneedhelpanymore

      Delete
  11. I had a boyfriend but he was really mean. It was a toxic relationship so I got out!

    ~Crazee4horses (old username I know it's stupid)

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  13. Thanks a lot for posting such meaningful things on your blog :)
    They help me out a lot in life. Wether its with friends, trust, bullying, or something else. Thank you!
    This is awkward to say,
    But ur posts changed my life, thank you so much :)

    ReplyDelete

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