That Nostalgic Feeling

I'm not gonna lie; Animal Jam was a major part of my life.

And when I say major, I mean I've-grown-up-with-it-and-wasted-five-years-of-my-life-playing-it major.

Hey, Jammers! It's Despare back on, and I don't think I'll be doing a lot more posting. I'll check up on this once in a while, but my new school (I'm in High School now) is an hour away from my house, and I have to wake up 4 AM and they're very academically advanced so I have to up my standards. I don't think I'll be able to write--maybe during the holidays and a once-in-a-while kind of post. 

I've left Animal Jam--some for long months, others for merely days; and I've come to realize that as my life grows on and my seemingly young and free self whose attention was only on AJ is starting to disappear that Animal Jam has played a rather big role in my life.

I'm not joking when I say I've played AJ for almost 5 years--I've been with them since late 2010. I remember it almost so clearly; the bored 7 year old girl in front of her laptop thinking, why does Club Penguin suck so much? I remember typing in answers.wiki or something like that, free internet games like Club Penguin, and the two words, Animal Jam captivated my 7 year old eyes and made me click on it. I wandered aimlessly around the home page; looking at the old parent dashboards and log in page. I still remember the old loading pages--it was just a rotating earth on a yellow background. There was no Appondale, no oceans--it all comes to me in this nostalgic feeling you get when writing about the past that has affected you so much.

It feels all so weird, seeing how different my past is as to my present; seeing that all my friends being changed by rares; seeing spikes go out through jam-a-grams and legend gloves being one of the most appraised things in Jamaa; then adventures being released and legend gloves put on stores. There are days when I want to shout at AJHQ, NO! NO, YOU'RE MAKING AJ EVEN WORSE! 
But then there are days when I would smile at my screen, thinking with a great feeling in my chest, You did the right thing, AJHQ.

But what I would like to share to you right now is that you shouldn't be cringing about the days of Jamaa--you should be happy. I'm sure that growing up with Animal Jam we've all learned important life lessons. We forget that sometimes humans want satisfaction; and I know as I scroll through all the posts I've written that I've learned so many things from Animal Jam. I've learned how to truly see people; not for the way they look or for how much money they have. I've given lots of people chances to become friends with me. Whether you like it or not, Animal Jam has changed you--for better or for worse, it is up to you to decide.

I'd just like to remind you guys that that nostalgic feeling that you guys occasionally have is beautiful. Reliving the past with a sparkle in your eye--it is amazing. Be proud of your Jamaasian heritage. Be proud that Animal Jam was a part of your life--for somehow, no matter how little or how big, it has changed you.

Also, is anyone of contact with Breathless? I would like to talk to her about the blog. Thank you <33

Hey, Look, Listen! [Lessons of Jamaa No. Whatever]

*Rolling around Hyrule Field* "Hey!"

*Climbing up Death Mountain* "Look!"

*Diving in Zora's Fountain* "Listen!"

Every Ocarina of Time player: OH JUST SHUT UP ALREADY!

If you've played Nintendo's The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time, you know what I mean. She's your annoying companion that tells you the most useless things. Especially in boss battles. (Navi: "I'll help you this time, Link!" *Z-Targets Ganon* *C-Up* Navi: "I really don't know his weakness...") I realized lately that Navi is that annoying feeling you get a lot. Those cringe attacks you really don't want. That annoying feeling of guilt that you had since forever. Those things.

So hey, it's me Despare back on, and I have been playing Zelda and watching Doctor Who, neglecting the fact that I still have like two seasons of Code Geass to watch and fourteen days left of summer 'til school starts. This post is just gonna be a short little Lessons of Jamaa because I haven't written them in a while, and due to the fact that I really need to write something to tell you guys I'm still alive. So yeah, hi, I'm still alive but I quit Animal Jam. Woohoo *enter confetti thrower thingamabobs here*

Let's say you've just scammed someone, or did a bad thing to a group. Maybe even just teased a little boy from your street. Right now, you feel fine, doing whatever you're doing, then suddenly a thought appears in your mind making you reminisce a sense of guilt unwanted. It's that irrational bubble of scenes that you think might happen because of what you did. Someone would turn their back against you, accuse you of scamming or doing a bad thing to someone, and you would have to cower behind your computer screen or just simply gulp and panic inside while an adult intently stares at you, asking what you've done. And that's Navi--because heaven knows that you are not comfortable with doing whatever you did. Navi is your irrational thought bubble that conjures up things unwanted--let's say an embarrassing moment from your childhood or a feeling of guilt and/or cringe--and you want nothing more than for it to shut up. Because let's face it--whether you be just doing your normal routine of your day or making history, a memory is going to erupt out of Navi and haunt you like crazy, making you flinch and act differently and you might even want to slam your head against the wall because of how irrational and insensible you were back then. And I know that from first-hand experience.

Let me just say, hey, look, listen.
Because Navi is not just that irrational thought bubble--it's your gut. And you should trust your gut. (Although if you're in a life and death situation don't trust your gut because that's the leading reason for fatalities. It never works. So if you're stuck in a life or death situation, just relax and think it through. Unless you have five seconds or less to make your choice, if that happens just trust your gut.) I know this might not make any sense or any connection to Animal Jam whatsoever, but if you think about it, it does. When you scam someone, there's always that small voice regretting and thinking, you shouldn't have done that (IT'S NOT BEN_DROWNED IF THAT'S WHAT YOU'RE THINKING) and you just feel so guilty, and you just wave that guilt off because you scammed, and cheaters in movies and novels never feel guilty, they only feel victorious.
But look, be guilty, because instead of giving someone a happy day, you just ruined it for them, and that's not cool. I know you've been scammed or hacked or tricked or teased/bullied, and I know that's not a good feeling, but being the one to scam/hack/trick/tease/bully isn't a good feeling either, because it's bad and Navi will not continue to shut up about it. It will be guilt now, and three years it will be a cringe attack. You do not want that. So if you want that guilt off your chest, listen to Navi and do something. If you can't remember who you scammed, give whatever you scammed to someone who deserves it, like a friend, or maybe just a random jammer you want to help. If you've teased or bullied someone, go straight up to them and say sorry, because I tell you, three years from now you're gonna look back and smile, because you know you've looked and listened, and you're gonna pat your own shoulder and say, thanks Navi, because once in a while, Navi does sprout good, nice information that does help you. And then you will look out your window with a warm cup of chocolate or tea or coffee or whatever you like to drink on your hand and say thank you to me and your subconsciousness.

So if you ever do have that feeling of guilt or cringe, you better look and listen, because you never know when Navi's gonna save your life; whether it be in Zelda: OoT or in reality.


//on a side note, here's a picture of my Doctor Who OTP, TenRose. If you ship them/watch Doctor Who as well, please say so down in the comments and maybe we can probably fangirl together, but NO SPOILERS I'M JUST IN SERIES THREE EPISODE TEN

//Also if you have good tenrose fanfictions please link them down below, I really need fanfics right now. It doesn't matter what site, whether it be tumblr, wattpad, fanfic.net, or archive of our own/ao3, just link it down below because I really really really am in desperate need of some nice fanfics and a warm cup of chocolate.

Overtaken (An Animal Jam Poem)

Guys, I really need to know if you're alive and reading...I want people to comment once in a while, even just saying Hi or Hey you're posting again so that I know there are still active readers. So, yeah. Anyways, hey Jammers, it's Despare again! Today I'm doing a poem called "Overtaken" Inspired by the photo at the left made by the wonderful Rainbow Charizard from DeviantArt! Click here to go to the post. I really like the artwork over there and I decided to make a poem out of it. So, let's do this.

Overtaken - an Animal Jam inspired poem

A journey through the online sea

Of pixels and people awaits me

I log in through my browser and

See I've landed in a place of sand.

I click to the left, I move to the right,

Trade with passion all through the night,

At last--I've gotten the items I've sought for,

And this made me want even more.

Headdresses, spikes, beta blankets,

Glitched tiaras and turquoise rings I've wanted;

And each day I'd walk into my room;

Log in and not know I was waiting for my doom.

 Some days I wouldn't go outside;

I'd stay up all night inside,

And with each piece of item successfully traded

I didn't know that I was getting a bargain;

For with every trade accepted,

Comes with greed unwanted.

Overtaken by rares I did not know;

In my social life; it started to show;

I'd twitch when I'm away from my game;

And my life was really never the same.

All that mattered to me was the sense of satisfaction;

My life was a living hell; this was a perfect distraction,

I'd went as far as hacking and scamming,

Ridding the happiness of kids that used to be smiling.

And then one day someone told me something I've never realized,

"You've hurt so many people; don't you know they've tried?

"Each little pixel, they've worked for all;

"And you just came in their life and watched them fall?!"

That night when I slept, I started thinking,

And then that night, I really started looking

At myself from a third persons view,

Oh no, I thought, all these nightmares came true?

I've been overtaken by pixels that were never real;

I didn't work; I cheated, I never did feel;

Suddenly a revelation came from a thought;

And the truth of these rares I have never sought.

Maybe it was wrong for me to let the sea

of pixels and demons drown me,

Overtaken only by the happiness I've wanted,

But never really owned it.

Well, so that's it, I hope you guys enjoyed that, and see you in the next post! Bye!

Animal Jam: 2010 vs. 2015

REWRITTEN POSTS: My Introductory Post [5/24/15] The Spirit Stones [Story] [5/24/15] Rarity Scan #4: Gloves [5/24/15]

IT HAS BEEN MORE THAN A WEEK SINCE I LAST POSTED

I AM SO SORRY I HAVE BEEN SO BUSY AND I KINDA JUST FORGOT ALL ABOUT THIS

So anyways, before I go on to my post, I will be telling this: I am going to rewrite all my posts. Because have you seen those posts?! I GET CRINGE ATTACKS. EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.

Man, I was one weird ten year old.

I will announce before all my new posts what I have rewritten, I will be updating this post once in a while if I rewrote something.

So anyways, moving on to the *actual* post.

Hello there Jammers! It's Despare back on and I am so sorry for not posting. I got really busy because of the hacking and sad to say I was a victim as well. Although do not fear, the hacking has stopped and you can all enable your accounts and be happy once again! Also I am busy with my anime stuff because my goal is to finish season 1, 2 and 3 of Code Geass before the end of the summer, and so let's just shut up about my life and move on to whatever this post is about.

It's been almost five years since the official start of Animal Jam. I will be describing the differences of Animal Jam 2010 when it was released, and not the beta testing period because if I did, we'd be here all day. And not with the appearances and lands and so, but the jammers themselves in those days.

Let's start with the past, because it's better to look behind, because it's better to look back at things that you know existed than to look forward with an uncertainty that you might never see a tomorrow.

[Fun fact: In beta times, one of the rarest things that can be obtained, but haven't been released were pink mats. Fuzzy Shyivy's post is right here. And yes, we used get random stuff in claw machines for some time. I think it was replaced with plushies in early or mid 2011]

2010-2011: The Days of Fuzzy Shyivy

Ah, I still remember her. Unless you joined in these years (2010, 2011) I doubt you know her. She's one of the first Animal Jam bloggers. (Here's a link to her old blog.) These days when Mt. Shiveer, Kimbara Outback, Coral Canyons and that place who's name I have forgotten and am to lazy to search for Appondale did not exist. Those years, the rarest items of Animal Jam were worns, scary bat wings, and gloves. And I am serious, here's a link to Fuzzy Shyivy's post about gloves, and my post about gloves. I should know because I was playing AJ during these years, and believe me, gloves were incredibly rare. You can ask Feelers or anybody during these times.
What did the jammers in these times act like? 
1.) Well, some are pretty much the same over dramatic people who're like; 'Brooo giv me dem bat wings' or 'tr@de me a gl0ve if u dun u no cool' (you can do symbols back then, including ;, "", ><, /\, *, &, $, #. Fun fact: for some reason, AJ blocks the symbol %. The reason why is beyond my knowledge.)
2.) Another type of jammer is the hoarder. You know, those people who have like 1000000 bat wings/gloves/worns? Lots of people back then were like that. Heck, I remember seeing a whole trade list of gloves and the whole Jamaa Township was like bowing to him like he was a god or something. He never accepts trades, it's "just for show." Literally one of the most annoying ones ever.
3.) Besides the scammer-jammer (it's obvious, don't need to put this one in here) another type of jammer (one of the most common in those years) was the friendly ones. Seriously, these were the nicest. Heck, they're really common because literally, most of the just say hi and hang out and play games and stuff, because the concept of 'rares' weren't really the popular, and plus they didn't have trading. (Before the trading system, it used to be gift for gift because non-members are also allowed to send/accept gifts.) Like, they're all fun and games and just very small part rares. I wouldn't be surprised if their catchphrase was 'friends over rares.' Most of the jammers in those years were these types, and I really miss them because out of my 96 buddies, only like three of them are these types. Heck, I don't even talk to the other 93.

2015: The Days of...well, a lot of other famous people like Appari (7) LilacPetal, Julian2, and etc.
I dunno. I'm not a YouTube person, I don't watch AJ videos. For one thing, I'm an Instagram kind of kid. But for sure, these are few of the many famous jammers out there, and these days...well, do I need to talk about the updates and demand for being noticed by senpai? Like, you're in this generation, I don't need to explain 2015 because you're living in it right now (unless you're reading this post some time in 2016 up). But for the sake of new readers that will read this on 2016 and so, here are a few things about 2015 AJ:
1.) Map of AJ as of 5/23/2015. (May 23, 2015)
2.) Diamond shop has no spikes currently. Go figure.
3.) The Eagle Adventure is the most in demand adventure.
4.) Updates are very dreaded. Everyone thinks it will make AJ worse.
5.) Play Wild was first only for Android. As of now (May 23, 2015) it is still not released in the iOS but will soon be as the beta testing period is over.
6.) Few rarest things as of now: beta tiaras/beta blanket, light pink headdresses, headdresses, long spiked collars, glitched turquoise rings (first and second).
Okay, so now that's done, on to the kinds of jammers in these days! Although do I really need to explain this? I mean, you guys do live in 2015...right, for the 2016 and so readers, here they are:
1.) The Adventurers.
What adventures do they do? If you're non member, Return of the Phantom. Heck, I think some people could do it with their eyes closed. If you're a member, it's quite obvious isn't it? The eagle adventure. You can get spikes and other rares and betas in there. A few people do other adventures, but that's rarely and for fun anyway.
2.) The traders. ALDAN. THIS COMPROMISES ALDAN. It's all 'TRADE ME SPIKE, TRADE ME HEADDRESS, TRADE ME EVERYTHING' kind of stuff. It's too obvious.
3.) The hoarder. Same thing with the past, except with spikes. Some of them are like "I'm so unrare YYYY???" and their whole trade list is spikes and glitched stuff and I'm over here like, 'If you're so unrare, then I must be trash.'
4.) The 'hey let's give some stuff away!' jammer.
One of the rarest ones yet. Heck, I'm one of these. Check out my Instagram. (You have to scroll down though. It's really deep down.) I've given spikes and lots of other stuff, like betas and rares. I'm not lying, and that was because I got hacked and I was like "There's nothing to live for, I quit. I'm giving up everything." I've given lots of my buddies free stuff, and I even gave some random jammer a long green spike and another one a short green spike. All rare collars by the way. Don't ask me for rares or something, I'm broke. So yes.
And finally, the rarest one yet:
5.) The "friendly to all jammers" type. Why is this the rarest? I mean, my friends are all so nice to me! I mean to EVERYONE. I mean that he/she is nice to EVERY. SINGLE. FREAKING. JAMMER. Heck, he/she won't cuss at someone. He/she won't insult someone. Not at all. This, my fellow jammers, is incredibly rare because some people are just plain rude. There's always that type of satisfaction you feel when you win a fight with someone rude, and that's what most of us want. The human brain has this center for rewards, and when we have this feeling of satisfaction, there's this firing of electricity going through our brain and that causes that feeling. Us humans love that feeling. The pleasure center of the brain gives us what we want, and winning every fight against someone rude provides that feeling. And since you're fighting against someone rude, you have to be rude as well. It's like that, not everyone is nice to everyone, and a lot of people are only nice to their friends. I should know.

I guess that's it. See you later, folks!

The Story Of A Good Phantom [Revised]

original: The Story Of A Good Phantom   

 The dark clouds that covered Mount Haph grew darker and thicker as plans to destroy Jamaa grew increasingly. The phantoms multiplied and grew, and Jamaa was soon in grave danger. One day, a golden, red-eyed phantom was born. A kind so rare that he was the only breed. His name was Greedy, known as 'The Good Phantom' in Jamaa. Everyone was afraid of Greedy, including Smothe, leader of the phantoms, heir to the throne. Greedy envied the Jamaasians, for they owned the crystals of power, and they had the richest amount of gems in all of the lands. Greedy loved gems and precious metals, which made Greedy angry at the Phantoms that sought to destroy Jamaa. Destroying Jamaa would lead to the extermination of the richest land source of precious metals. Greedy had only delayed their plans, but he couldn't stop it; the Phantom King would forbid it, he knew if he did, he would be turned into an outcast and would never be seen withghe phantoms ever again. He said 'If you shall give me no gems, your plan will fail and I shall curse your land. No phantom, not even the Phantom King, will break the curse. Promise to give me every gem in Jamaa, or you shall be in grave danger.' and Smothe had sworn in the name of the Phantom King.

    Greedy decided to venture out of the deep, cramped mountain, hoping that Smothe would remember that promise of the gems, to seek for the crystals of power. His journey took him weeks, and within those weeks, the phantoms invaded Jamaa. They forgot all about Greedy, and had joy in their near-success, not knowing Greedy will soon return.

    Greedy came back, angry and tired. As he approached Smothe, he had the darkest red eye. "Where. Are. My. Gems?!" he screamed. Smothe backed towards the wall as sweat trickled down his head, and Greedy screamed again and again, "Where are my gems?!"

"For the last time, where. Are. My. Ge--?!" unable to continue, a rumble shook Mt. Haph. "Golden Greedy, and Smothe," the Phantom king, large, black, and with a vicious eye rose through the rocks and turned to Greedy, "stop. You are not a phantom, but a fool to us. You are an evil to us, trying to prevent us from destroying that one place we have sought for our entire lives all for the crystals of power. I shall show you our crystal of power, the one that helped us. But you shall not keep it," The king, with his large and swift tentacles, grabbed the crystal behind his throne and said, "you shall be cursed by us, rather than you cursing us. You shall linger your days in Jamaa, not as a phantom, but a wolf. You will be known as the Phantom alpha, and you will be a curse to us. Your name is Greely, from now on. Now, be gone!" he grabbed Greedy and threw him into the crystal, and Greedy's sight darkened. He awoke in a grassy field, one of his eye, red, the other clear. His fur touched the air, as he saw a panda standing above him. "Cosmo, do you think he's the one?" the panda asked a nearby koala, whose name must be Cosmo. "I believe so, Liza, my vision gave me a sign of a wolf with a red eye." he reached out to Greedy (now known as Greely), and jerked his hand back. "He--he is! His past is a blur of the phantoms, he must be the link we have sought for!" Cosmo said in delight, "Well, what are you waiting for, Cosmo, let's get him to the Blue Heron!" Liza shouted.

Throughout Greely's life, he was the searcher of phantoms, the Phantom alpha. He was a legend, a legend that now protects Jamaa and all that lives inside. Greely had helped the Alphas destroy the phantoms before the phantoms could fully defeat Jamaa. As the last Jamaasians huddled together for one last stand, the Alphas, in a flash of light, came. All thanks to Greely.

Hey There~

It's been almost two freaking years since the last time we posted something, and whether or not someone is still reading this blog, I guess I should re-introduce myself because I went through a hellah lot of changing throughout the two years. (One, that I don't capitalize every first letter of every word.)

So hey, you probably know me as DreamsOfBlue, GalaxyOfPossibilities, XxBrightSpiritxX, XxMoonlightLightsxX, Thracey11, BlueBlueBlueyGirl, PerseaJackson, or my current one, Despare. I've played Animal Jam since late 2010 when I was about seven years old. My first username was Sakura180. (Oh the days when I was in love with Naruto, I remember.) I quit around January 2011 and came back around March 2011 as another account, I believe Thracey11. After a few months, I began to climb up the ladder of rarity. Though still unrare in most comparisons, I was enough as I was. I had a lot of good friends, I loved to roleplay, and being me, I loved Animal Jam. After a few months, as Animal Jam changed, I changed too. Friends faded away, others quit and I was alone; but I didn't stop. I continued to play Animal Jam, making friends, trading and doing anything any sensible Jammer would do. I also changed accounts frequently and I honestly don't know why. At around late 2012, or early 2013, I met three of my best friends (who now do not know me. Tragic, I know.) Sparkykat38, Hawraaaaaaaa [changed usernames, I'm unsure of what's her user or if she plays AJ still] and TiggerKatRox. Throughout our friendship, I was introduced to the world of Animal Jam blogging. I don't remember the first blog I saw, but I authored in a few famous ones, like Feelers' Animal Jam Clash [animaljamblog.blogspot.com] XxFreeSpiritxX's Animal Jam Freedom [animaljamfreedom.com] or Goldy's old blog, this one and a few others. Around 2014, I unofficially quit. I didn't go on AJ a lot, and I only came back [officially] on December 2014 when my Aunt gave me my first membership as Despare, or my current account.

So here I am, and that's my Animal Jam story.

So about me; I'm Despare. I know it's supposedly spelled as despair, but Despare is the name of my original characters. I love eagles, and I love the color blue. I'm a non member eagle, and my signature item is a freedom hat. I give a lot of people things, even if I don't know them. I've given spikes and den betas to New Jammers, buddies and strangers. I actively post in my Instagram, which you can find me as @animaljam_despare . My current addictions are the Legend of Zelda, Percy Jackson and Once Upon A Time. So if you want to fangirl with me, feel free to DM me in Instagram, or send me a buddy request. I'm a loner anyway.

Also, I believe I will be upholding this amazing blog, and give it a new beginning. Though I'm simply an author, I will give meaning back to this once-beautiful blog. 

I hope to see you in Jamaa!